The Seven Deadly Sins of Twin Cities Dining: Part 2

The Seven Deadly Sins of Twin Cities Dining Part 1 proved us lustful, gluttonous sinners through our abandonment of decency and willpower to Stella’s Oyster Orgy and The Oceanaire’s Chocolate Caramel Brownie Sundae.

Diving deeper, this week we explore Greed, Sloth and Wrath.

Katie Cannon / Heavy Table
Katie Cannon / Heavy Table

Greed: Minnesota State Fair Gorging
The Minnesota State Fair comes but once a year for a good reason – the overindulgence of fried food. From deep fried pickles, candy bars and pie to corn dogs, pronto pups and walleye on a stick – if it’s fried, it’s served up to the masses.

Our sinful behavior comes not only from the food itself – anything that tastes that good has got to be bad – but from the sheer quantity that is consumed during those long summer days. Minnesotans with stomachs of steel give in to the greed that leads us to not just one deep fried delight booth but to several – start at The Mouth Trap Cheese Curds then head to The Preferred Pickle, top that off with the Porkchops and Turkey Legs stand and finally finish with those Sweet Martha’s Chocolate Cookies and milk. But wait! You forgot the cheese curds, pizza, corn dog and candy bar. No problem…the fair is twelve days long; we’ll be back again tomorrow.

Katie Cannon / Heavy Table
Katie Cannon / Heavy Table

Sloth: Pizza Luce
Inevitably the 1st Avenue crowd heads straight to Pizza Lucé’s downtown location at bar close on Friday and Saturday nights. For just $3.50, you can devour a grease-dripping pizza slice that is a sure cure for the common hangover; a decision you will inevitably regret the following morning. To serve the crowd, the late night Pizza Lucé mantra becomes: make it fast and make it cheap.

A daytime return visit to the pizza parlor, however, seemingly lends to a night-and-day type experience. What happened to the greasy, oozy pizza from the darkness of the night? In its place is this fresh and light, although forgettable, pizza – and it’s loaded with veggies too! But, of course, who knows what the real story is…one can’t be quite sure of what went on at their 1am Pizza Lucé experience – when you’re there, it’s for a reason – right?

Katie Cannon / Heavy Table
Katie Cannon / Heavy Table

Wrath: Blazin’ Wings at Buffalo Wild Wings
Simply said, we can’t get enough of wings in this town – hot, spicy, blazin’ or jerk – bring ’em on! Looking for classic hot wings, served up in classic one-piece style? Sweeney’s in St. Paul hits the spot. Or how about saucy, red chile Thai wings that are sure to make your knees go weak? Kindee Thai in downtown Minneapolis will satisfy. Or perhaps you’re just looking for a cheap late night wing deal – Maxwell’s $.25 wings on Thursdays after 9pm is sure to do the trick.

The choices for wings in the Twin Cities are seemingly endless, but the ultimate experience of all hot wings is found at only one place: Buffalo Wild Wings. Just one blazin’ wing will have you begging for mercy. Beer after beer will disappear in hopes of extinguishing the flame that is now your lips and your mouth, but relief is slow to come. Your rage builds; panting and wild, you fan your mouth. Then finally – your eyes stop watering and you just barely manage to croak out: “I’m ready for another.”


  1. Dedicated Reader

    BWW? “Ultimate experience”? Really?

    Serum’s is by far the best place for wings in the Twin Cities, if not the country.

  2. SF

    How about Serum’s in Anoka. The don’t skimp on the wing size and their habañero hots bring you to your knees. Take it down a notch with the Chernobyl wing (cripplingly good -in a masochistic kind of way).

  3. brian

    I’m with Tom. A truly “sloth” choice would have to be some really mediocre to shitty delivery choice in a neighborhood littered with great affordable, yet undeliverable food choices. When I think sloth I think shut-in.

  4. DK

    $.35 wings on Monday nights at Tail Gate Sports Cafe off Nicollet and 62… They’re much bigger and tastier than BWW and have a Jameson BBQ flavor and one called Danger, among others.

  5. zacck

    Gotta agree with serum’s. Cheap, very good and lots of variety, plus on the weekends, you can watch the townies get loaded, which is always fun.

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