Sometimes a single mistake will teach you more than 10 good decisions. In that spirit, as the weather finally warms up, here’s a sampler of five tracks that should only be played at your outdoor gathering if you’re trying to get people to pick up their stuff and go home.
I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that’s real
If this Trent Reznor cover doesn’t kill the vibe at your summer BBQ, you’re either enjoying the best party of the year, or you’re actually hanging out at a Satanic funeral.
“I have run… I have crawled… I have scaled these city walls! Yeah, that’s really great! I can’t believe I did it, but nevertheless I have done that for you, only to be with you. Yeah, with you — the fat one, that’s it. You’re the fat one, and I want to be with you. But on the other hand, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for.”
Guaranteed to bring all conversations to a baffled stand-still. Flat out brilliant, but not socially productive.
A masterful hip hop classic guaranteed to float majestically in the background sounding incredibly cool and chilled out right up until the end, when George Clinton does his 90-second-long a capella solo outro about putting his foot up your ass. Particularly bad if there are small children in attendance.
As correct as Guaraldi might be for November through January, he’s criminally wrong for warm weather and the outdoors. Spin this kid-chorused Christmas classic at your own peril.
Supposedly clocking in at a mere 4 minutes 29 seconds, this gravel-voiced plague-sick sloth of a track seemingly contains 20-30 minutes of detail about “an axe with bloodstains” and “the raven’s nest in the rotted roof.” Aren’t red barns supposed to be fun, Tom Waits? Think hoedowns and meat raffles.
Making a list of five best summer BBQ tracks is too arbitrary and too easy, but how about: