Despite his surname and a bizarre ability to swing it like Louis Prima, Paolo Nutini is, in fact, Scottish.
Last night, the 22-year-old singer appeared at the Minnesota Zoo and, in a fly-by meet-‘n-greet, we had the opportunity to ask him about the breaking haggis news. It seems the English are claiming to have found a 1615 cookbook that contains the earliest mention of haggis — a sheep stomach packed with oats and sheep’s liver, heart, and kidney — thereby making the national dish of Scotland historically English. The Scots are none-too-pleased.
SUSAN PAGANI: Wait, just one question, how do you feel about today’s haggis controversy?
PAOLO NUTINI: Haggis? Why? What’s happened?
PAGANI: Allegedly it’s not Scottish — it’s English!
NUTINI: NO! Who said that? Have you ever seen one?
PAGANI: Seen a haggis?
NUTINI: I have! A live one.
PAGANI: What, like a free-range haggis?
[At this point, Nutini’s manager, a very tiny, very pregnant, very English woman chimed in]:
MANAGER: No, it’s definitely Scottish, but I’ve had vegetarian haggis and it’s lovely.
PAGANI: What was in it?
MANAGER: Oh you know, cereal — barley and oats, herbs, vegetables…
NUTINI: It’s terrifying. It’s kind of like a bird, but all fur and teeth — no feathers. Like half turkey, half mole.
PAGANI: A tunneling bird?
NUTINI: Or a flying mole — but it can only get a few feet off the ground.
PAGANI: Ah, that’s the turkey.
NUTINI: Yes, that’s the turkey.
And then he scurried off to sing about his new shoes, leaving us alone to ponder the plight of the Scottish haggis.